I have noticed that there is a position in the medical field called "Grief Counselor". The job deals with people who are trying to erase demons from the past or handle personal tragedies. The shootings at Fort Hood, Texas defy explanation and there are a lot of familes that have been dealt terrible consequences. Grief counselors were called in to help. I can't begin to imagine the personal issues involved for everyone. My sympathies to all!
That is not the job I want. I want "Grief Counselor - Light Variety". I want to be called in to help people with issues that don't have dire situations. I didn't watch a few Dr. Phil TV shows for nothing. The key phrase to be an expert counselor is to ask "how do you feel about that"?
For example, all those Packer fans that are having trouble dealing with the fact that Brett Favre has stuck it to the the Green and Gold twice twice this year, my inclination is to say "suck it up". Instead with my grief counselor training, I'd have to say "I feel your pain" or "you poor thing". Then I'd ask about feelings and try to steer towards a rehab program. See, I can be Mr. Sensitivity.
For Philadelphia Phillies fans whose team lost to the "Darth Vader Yankees", I'd like to say "get over it". My new role won't let me do that. I'd have to remind them that the Phillies were World Champs last year and that it is very difficult to repeat. They should realize that Yankee fans need to experience the joy of winning also. We would hinge our rehab program on "there is always next year".
To those that pay extortion fees to your friendly banks, remember they are screwing eveyone.
To those that just had their credit card rates soar to over 30% annual rates, you might feel better if you knew banks are just trying to make a fair profit. Banks have to survive too.
To those that have noticed your property tax rates are going up 10%. Remember that teachers will be assured to get their annual raises and contributions to pension plans. Put yourself in the teachers place. Imagine how good they feel. Feel good for them.
To those that see outrageous increases in their health insurance costs, being incensed is okay. You can take solace in the fact that higher insurance costs are coming and you ain't seen nothing yet. So enjoy the moment. Things will only get worse. Don't you feel better?
Grasshopper No.3 is a grief counselor of sorts. Anytime something goes wrong, he'll say "rub some dirt on it". He doesn't exhibit as much sympathy as I do, so don't go to him to light duty grief counseling.
I am available for light duty stuff at a beckon call. E-mails will work. My fee is $200 per hour. Hey, I've got to live too. It has taken me 69 years to develop my qualifications.
Today I will go forth and help as many grief stricken people as I can.
Love,
Dad