There is an TV advertisement that reverses the psychology of exchanges between parents and children. A young adult confronts his dad saying "I'll use my cell phone whenever I want." The dad responds by saying that he certainly could use his phone when he wants and that running up long minutes of time was okay". Not normal! It got me wondering how we could have made your lives less stressful and more fun.
For Grasshopper No.1, I would have said "when you live in our house, you can make whatever rules you want. It is your house too. Do whatever you want! Be Happy!'
Grasshopper No. 2 would be "if you don't like your peas, don't eat them. Blow the peas through a straw at you sister if you'd like". This is not a heavy issue.
Grasshopper No. 3 could have all the gas for the boat that he wanted. "You want more gas for the boat? I'll make special trips to bring you more. Call me. More soda and snacks for the cottage refrigerator? No Problem".
Grasshopper No. 4 wouldn't have to clean up his bedroom. "You want the room to stink. That is okay. Happiness is lounging in squalor. Mom will clean it when you are ready"!
Grasshopper No. 5 could eat strange foods for breakfast. "Pizza is good. Eat what you want".
Your life would have changed if we had responded different. Our life would have changed. I offer the following:
Leave the toys laying all over the floor. It is okay. Mom and Dad will pick them up.
Suck you thumb if you want.
You can wear anything you want. It is a free country.
You absolutely do not have to get a haircut.
If all your friends can do it, you can too.
Stay out as long as you like. Curfews are so restrictive.
You want to stay home from school? Sleep as long as you want.
Talk with your mouth full. Its okay.
Booze and partying at the cottage is okay.
I obviously am making a spoof about situations where you Grasshoppers would have liked a different response. Life would have been so much easier for you and for Mom and Dad too. Interesting perspective.
The lesson Grasshoppers is that there is structure in life. Parents have the responsibility of shaping the character of their children. Rules are important. Respect is required (and earned). Mistakes get made. There are no apologies. Decisions are made and we all live with the consequences. That is life. So if you got "hang-ups", deal with them.
If you want to return and live in our house, its okay. We will take care of you.
Love,
Dad