A relative of mine (a very, very close relative) has a boat.
His first boat was for the family. Weekend and Holiday outings were part of the dream. Somehow the family didn't buy into the dream.
So then it was a boat that was less family "friendly". A faster boat. A hull design that uses air to lift it out of the water yet maintain stability. A boat with a perfectly balanced engine to give lots of speed.
Then it was a bigger engine with fuel injection. The engine includes spark advancing technology to give optimum performance. The boat purrs.
To go faster you need a tilt system to trim the engine to the perfect angle when the boat is near top speed. Add a backplate to raise the engine up and down to assist the tilt technology and you have a "hummer". It goes fast.
Then you buy or trade for 15 different variations of props for the engine until you find the right one. Three tines. Four tines. Welded tips to increase cavitation. Welded tips to decrease cavitation. All the experimentation with the blades on the prop must include pitch angles from 19 to 24 degrees. The boat now goes really fast. But alas, it must go faster.
Top speed is attained riding in the boat alone. It reduces the weight in the boat to the bare minimum (no family members here) so that the vessel rides as high in the water as possible.
But the boat just doesn't go fast enough! What can he do? What can he do? Then his life partner (his wife) says, "why don't you buy a bigger engine"? Huh? It is obvious. A bigger engine will of course produce more speed. How many wifes have told their husband they need a bigger engine? It sends chills down your spine.
So Grasshopper No. 3's dreams are alive. The answer is obvious, "get a bigger engine".
My question is "how fast do you have to go"? I guess like everything in life, just a little bit faster.
Love,
Dad
There have been many jokes about the Andrews heritage. Every family has characteristics that separate them from the rest of humanity. It got me wondering. What is an Andrews? This of course is my view of the world.
Topping the list is a sense of humor. It is far and away the number one distinquishing characteristic of the Andrews family. Grasshopper No.1 laughs when people trip and fall down. Strange! Chuckles are mandatory.
We are personable. There might have been a "snake oil salesman" in our past. We are pretty good at convincing people that our point of view is correct. Some might call it charisma. Some might call it "bullshit factor".
We are anal retentive. There seems to be a propensity to remember unimportant facts, especially numbers. This includes calendar dates, financial numbers and batting averages. I personally can remember the number of gallons of gas pumped into my car for several days along with mileage numbers off my speedometer. I can tell you the exact amount of change in my pocket. Really important stuff, huh?
We are stubborn. This comes in many variations ranging from just plain "bull-headed and unreasonable" to politely difficult. I know a few family situations were the stubborn generates an a--h--- behavior. No you say!
We tend to avoid manual labor. I need to emphasize that this does not mean we are lazy. In fact, we can work long hours at ventures that are interesting. Grasshopper No. 3 seems to enjoy doing physical things but when you think about, he rides around on his a-- all day.
We think we are smart! This is a relative belief. There is no real way of measuring "smartness" but half the battle is thinking you are pretty bright. We are "street-smart".
We are persistant. We usually get what we want.
We are caring, loving and compassionate. Jesus, did I say that? If my arms were long enough I would pat myself on the back. Alternatively, there is an absense of mean-ness.
My mother would utter in German "self-pride stinks". You can get so caught up in thinking you are so good that you become obnoxious to others. So the lesson Grasshoppers is be yourself. You are no better than anyone else. Use whatever characteristics you have to your benefit and others.
You've got to admit there is an Andrews mystique.
Love,
Dad
I exorcised this morning. Half-way through the 4 mile jaunt, my batteries in my trusty walk-man CD unit died. This Grasshoppers is a sign. It is a "sign" because I am careful to watch the indicator that shows remaining battery life and it was okay. It is a sign that other bad things may be coming. I hate that when my battery goes dead.
Then I had to go to my local dentist. He is my personal "dbf" artist. "DBF" stands for "drill, fill and bill". I guess I should add forever and ever. The dentist has an annuity on the lives of your mother and I. I do get up tight about having to sit in a chair "in a layed back position" for over an hour pumped full of some magic numbing potion unable to move. I guess it is a control thing. I had a headache right up the back of my neck.
When I got home from the dentist, there was a contract from a local store owner verifying details of some carpet that we had ordered. Buried in the contract was a clause that said they could charge me 50% of all costs incurred should I cancel. Talk about an open ended license to steal. We have no intent to cancel anything, but that was a bullsh-- clause. So I called the store and told them I objected. To shorten my story, they are sending me a new contract. Bastards.
My mood is improving. I put new batteries in my walk-man. I have recovered from my encounter with the dentist (actually he is a very nice person), and I have changed the contract for carpeting to my satisfaction.
Buried in all the above rhetoric is a lesson Grasshoppers. Don't sign contracts that you do not understand or agree with. In this case my contract was for a carpet. There are contracts for cell phones, contracts for cable systems and contracts for personal loans. Read those contracts. They are legal documents and you are obligated. They favor the people drafting the contracts.
So tonight I am going to watch a rented movie from Hollywood Cinemas and maybe make some popcorn.
Tomorrow. Tomorrow is another day. The sun will come up tomorrow. I dare anybody to screw it up. I will be watching for "signs".
Love,
Dad
My wife deserves all the credit. She tightened her jaw and decided that there would be an Andrews reunion. I think the closest thing to a family reunion was Thanksgiving at the City Club with Myrna in the late 1970's. So a special thank you to the love of my life.
Shelby's rationale was that the Andrews clan was a fun group. There is always joking. There is always laughter. Getting together would be enjoyable. She was right. I think everyone who came to the Sheboygan Deland Home on Saturday had a good time.
It is amazing how many Bucky/Alice descendants attended the clambake. My count says that 29 people enjoyed chicken, mashed potatoes & gravy (it went in a hurry), biscuits, grapes and stuff. Bucky/Alice really didn't understand what they were starting.
First Generation Attending:
Jack Andrews
Mary Ann Andrews
Addie Eisenhardt
"Ike" Eisenhardt
Jerry Andrews
Jane Andrews
Shelby Andrews (VP of Reunion Organization)
Chuck Andrews
Second Generation Attending:
Deborah Warosh
Tom Warosh
Kelly Andrews
Carlos Vargus
Margaret Andrews
Jackie Ashburn
John Ashburn
"Johnny" Andrews
Mike Klokow
Heather Klokow
Ryan Eisenhardt
LuAnn Eisenhardt
Third Generation Attending:
"Dano" Ragsdale
Grant Hollander
Mitchell Hollander
Dominic Andrews
Tommy Andrews
Sarah Pirrung
Lucy Eisenhardt
Fourth Generation Attending:
Conner Pirrung
McKayla Pirrung
Our collective prayer session summoned the "Rain Gods" to start a 3 day steady rain that hasn't ended yet. Amazing what the power of many can do.
Thank You all for making the day very special. If I left anyone off my list it was inadvertent. Let me know and I'll correct the list.
There are lots of pictures.
Love,
Chuck
I missed it!
In the late 1960's I joined the Vollrath Company. They were using computers to help manage the business. One of the owning family members had attended MIT and came away with the conviction that managing information on a timely basis was the "future". Vollrath had large main frame computers and an "army" of systems analysts and programmers. There were no software packages that you buy off the shelf. Everything had to be built from scratch. Every employee was involved in data collection including production people.
During a luncheon conversation one day, the managing family member offered the vision that when computers became cheap enough and every person could own one, American business would unleash tremendous potential. People would be able to get better information faster and they could develop "just in time" decision models. You would harness the power of the human mind.
The opportunity "right before my eyes" was that I could have made every effort to capitalize on the "information revolution". I should have bought IBM in the 1960's. I should have mortgaged the house when Yahoo first started. I should have bought into Microsoft which revolutionized software with a standard platform. I should have, I should have, I should have.
But I didn't. Instead I plodded along with my 401K plans that were diversified and an IRA. I did not invest using my knowledge of the future. I had a gut feeling computing power would become so cheap that it would revolutionize all business models, but I failed to act.
I could have been rich. Sh--!
The lesson Grasshoppers is that you will see many things pass before your eyes. It is difficult to always grasp opportunity when it is there. You can't lament about what you missed. Hey, I am rich in other ways. Cottages, boats, kids, and Grandkids. Opportunity comes in many forms. If you happen to grab onto the "magic of an idea", good for you. If you don't, join the crowd. For me, it was there right before my eyes.
Love,
Dad
There is an TV advertisement that reverses the psychology of exchanges between parents and children. A young adult confronts his dad saying "I'll use my cell phone whenever I want." The dad responds by saying that he certainly could use his phone when he wants and that running up long minutes of time was okay". Not normal! It got me wondering how we could have made your lives less stressful and more fun.
For Grasshopper No.1, I would have said "when you live in our house, you can make whatever rules you want. It is your house too. Do whatever you want! Be Happy!'
Grasshopper No. 2 would be "if you don't like your peas, don't eat them. Blow the peas through a straw at you sister if you'd like". This is not a heavy issue.
Grasshopper No. 3 could have all the gas for the boat that he wanted. "You want more gas for the boat? I'll make special trips to bring you more. Call me. More soda and snacks for the cottage refrigerator? No Problem".
Grasshopper No. 4 wouldn't have to clean up his bedroom. "You want the room to stink. That is okay. Happiness is lounging in squalor. Mom will clean it when you are ready"!
Grasshopper No. 5 could eat strange foods for breakfast. "Pizza is good. Eat what you want".
Your life would have changed if we had responded different. Our life would have changed. I offer the following:
Leave the toys laying all over the floor. It is okay. Mom and Dad will pick them up.
Suck you thumb if you want.
You can wear anything you want. It is a free country.
You absolutely do not have to get a haircut.
If all your friends can do it, you can too.
Stay out as long as you like. Curfews are so restrictive.
You want to stay home from school? Sleep as long as you want.
Talk with your mouth full. Its okay.
Booze and partying at the cottage is okay.
I obviously am making a spoof about situations where you Grasshoppers would have liked a different response. Life would have been so much easier for you and for Mom and Dad too. Interesting perspective.
The lesson Grasshoppers is that there is structure in life. Parents have the responsibility of shaping the character of their children. Rules are important. Respect is required (and earned). Mistakes get made. There are no apologies. Decisions are made and we all live with the consequences. That is life. So if you got "hang-ups", deal with them.
If you want to return and live in our house, its okay. We will take care of you.
Love,
Dad
This blog was originally intended as a "financial forum" and has evolved into everything from a personal diary to a document of family history. Today is "financial".
The stock market dropped 400 points today. The alleged reason was that there is "uncertainty" in the money markets with reference to "sub-prime" loans. What the hell does that mean?
For many years, if you wanted a loan to buy a home you needed 20% down. To get favorable rates, your still need 20% down. Once you reach that level of equity good things happen. You avoid mandatory insurance paid and you get preferred interest rates.
In recent years, you could buy a home with 0% down and marginal credit history. You do pay for it with higher interest rates and imposed financial conditions. The penalties for default of a monthly payment are assessment of "late" fees, potential eviction and surrender of your first born child.
And then of course, the financial markets got creative. Adjustable rate mortgages were offered to get you a low rate initially after buying a home and then the rate would adjust with market conditions following "prime rate" or the clever "LIBOR indicator". This means you can afford the house initially but if your friendly lender increases your monthly payment because interest rates went up, you could find yourself unable to make payments.
Don't forget the home equity loan. This says that as the appraisal of your house slides upward over a period of time, you can borrow money on the house equity including increases. The home equity loan is at a higher rate than your mortgage interest rate and people find themselves with 0% equity in their house after taking a home equity loan.
The stock market is in turmoil because tighter money seems to be happening. The loan companies are making it tougher to qualify for loans. The demand for 20% down is increasing. "Home equity" loans are becoming tougher. Appraisals of home value are tightening up. Most important interest rates are rising.
There have been more foreclosures recently evicting owners. A large mortgage company holding low quality loans recently went bankrupt. People expecting to refinance their home after a grace period of 5 years at a low rate are finding unbelieveable "high" new loan rates.
It will take time for the mortgage market to settle down. Maybe 2-5 years. The result will be continued uncertainty. Trust me! Big money banks and loan companies will survive. The person with a difficult loan situation will not.
The advice Grasshoppers is keep the mortgage you have. Don't take out home equity loans. Plan to put a significant amount into your home (20% downpayment) in order to get favorable interest rates. Then go to a movie (preferably in the afternoon at discount rates) and enjoy the day. This too shall pass.
Love,
Dad
Grasshopper No.4 blogs about his dis-satisfaction with Barry Bonds. No worry! There is a solution. Read on!
I played golf last week with an enjoyable group of seniors. No matter that our group was so slow that as we approached the last hole that we were 3 holes behind everybody because we were so slow. Does it bother seniors that they are holding up many, many other golfers? Hell no.
I shot a 51 because of very slow play. I found out the next week that it had been reported as a 57. Normally I'd get upset as a matter of pride. Then I figured no, the 57 gets figured into my handicap and I will get more strokes in future match play. With seniors this is nothing to get upset about.
Then as I was about to tee off yesterday, one senior came running to the tee just in time for his turn to hit his first ball. It seems that he drove to the wrong golf course and had to hustle once he discovered his error. Wrong golf course? Yep. Remember he is a senior.
Which brings me back to Barry Bonds. He might hit the home run that gives him the all time record but who cares. Everybody is destined to become a senior eventually and nobody will be able to remember the event anyway. Isn't that the perfect solution. Nobody will ever remember.
WTMJ was running a contest on "calling" the record home run on the radio. If you were the announcer, how would you describe Barry's historical shot? There were lots of creative ideas. One dealt with marking the home run with an "ass-terisk". One "call" broke to a commercial sponsored by Monsanto and promoted chemicals that enhance the performance of everything (the reference here that Barry took chemical steroids allowing him to play better). The final "call" has the record home run ball being thrown back onto the field by a fan, chased by a stray dog and unrinated upon. It in fact is a record "foul ball".
The lesson here Grasshoppers is that Barry Bonds record home run is "much ado about nothing". As the population ages and they become seniors, they will forget. In the sands of time it means nothing. So don't get your shorts in a bunch. This also will pass. Think like a senior.
Love,
Dad
Years ago, when I was a kid at the City Club, I heard stories about "free lunches". If you came into the City Club and paid a nickel for a beer, you could get free food. Apparently large "spreads of food" were prepared like a buffet and you could eat all you wanted. The amazing part of the story is that for one small nickel you could have a 16 ounce beer and free food.
There are old pictures of the City Club with a big advertising billboard painted onto the side of the building proclaiming "5 cent beers and all you can eat".
Apparently in the early 1900's this promotion of food with alcohol was a national practice. The National Restaurant Association claimed that it was unfair. The restaurants felt they were losing business because taverns where stealing customers by giving away food with alcohol. Unfair, unfair, unfair.
In the early 1930's, legislation was enacted that stopped the practice of advertising a free lunch with purchases of alcohol. Many States (I don't know about Wisconsin) enforced the law disallowing deceptive promotions.
The truth of course is that there is no free lunch. Taverns such as the City Club had to make enough money on the beer purchases (along with other things) to cover the cost of food. If the tavern didn't charge enough, they would eventually go out of business. Restaurants weren't smart enough to create there own promotions to compete with taverns.
So again, the City Club was part of history. It's practice to promote free food with nickel beers was ahead of the rest of the world.
The lesson Grasshoppers is that nothing in life is "free". If something seems to be to good to be true, it probably is. I can't imagine what you'd have to charge for a 16 ounce beer today to cover the cost of beer and a "free lunch". Probably about $10. Believe me, there is no free lunch!
Love,
Dad