Okay, this blog is about "eyes". It has to do with communicating with your eyes. They say that eyes are the windows to your soul. Because you use your eyes to receive information, your eyes reveal a lot about your personality. That is right! You cannot hide. Some people have vibrant, dancing eyes showing happiness, while some can be sorrowful, showing deep hurt. There are some people that you have trouble looking in the eye because they want to hide their emotions. When people don't want to make eye contact with you, most times there is a reason. If your spouse has a sorrowful look and a tightened jaw, you are in deep shit.
Your eyes can make contracts (get it? "eye"deals) with other people. Your eyes can indicate compliance with a conversation or a task. Your eyes can express disapproval. The eye signals are powerful.
I remember one math teacher, Mr. Sauer. He could illustrate a solution to a math problem on the blackboard (do they still have blackboards?) and be very effective at proving his point. He had this technique after proving a blackboard solution of turning to the students and asking if there were any questions. He would survey the eyes of the students and he could tell in an instant if he had been effective. He would regularly say after checking eyes "No? Then we will do it again". He understood he had not made a connection with the students and he tried again. It was an "eye"deal technique.
I have had many business deals completed because of effective eye contact. There is a connection that takes place when two parties come to an agreement. It expresses approval and a sense of common purpose.
But the simplest example I can think of is with kids. There are many times I wanted to motivate you kids to do something and most times I knew if we had a contract by looking at your eyes. There were times when I was sure communication had been excellent but we didn't have a contract. Your eyes said "no contract". For me that was an "oh shit" moment because I felt I had failed. Of course it never dawned on me that you were right and I was wrong.
A good technique for effective communication is to make your kids sit across from you and encourage them to look you in the eye during a conversation. If necessary, hold both their hands and insist they look you in the eye. You may not get the result you are looking for, but the eyes will provide all the answers you need.
By the way, a blank look is "no deal".
I am happy to say that all you Grasshoppers have "easy eyes". They say very well how you feel. You are willing to let people in readily. You trust the eye connection. After all, you are constantly making "eye"deals.
Love, Dad