Ace Wisdom

The Perfect Diet

June 02, 2006

I've seen fad diets come and go. You know! Low carbs! Low fat! Calorie counting! Do they work? They do for short periods of time but then the "sameness" of the diet gets old and body cravings take over. Hence, the term "binge". The diet becomes a roller coaster and all the benefits derived from careful eating disappear.

Then you need to mix in an exercise program. Everything from walking to working with a personal trainer. Usually the word becomes "balance". Engage in a balanced regimen of everything and you will lose weight.

If all that does't work, you've got to do pyscho-analysis and commit yourself to a healthy life style. Dr. Phil is even writing books to tell you why you are fat and traces the causes back to childhood rejection (or something like that).

If all fails, you can get your stomach stapled. I guess that works but my understanding is that the usable part of the stomach eventually expands and you can again gain weight if you do not eat properly.

Being the opportunist that I am, I stumbled on the perfect diet. Your mom and I went to see Riverdance, the original production at the local Performing Arts Center last night. These are people that you could mistake for vertical humming birds because their feet move so fast they kind of hover in one place. I noticed that the female dance troop consisting of 15-20 young ladies were all skinny. They were lean, mean dancing machines. They were not anorexic cases. They were physically fit, thin, healthy straight postured professionals. I don't know what the percentage of body fat was, but it was very, very, very low. Throw away the birth control pills because body fat is critically low.

So what is the "perfect diet"? It is so simple. Dance your ass off! Seriously! It takes practice and muscle coordination to perform tap dance steps at "mach" speed. The dancing burns calories at rapid rates and tones the muscles. If you get really serious, you could audition for the Riverdance Troup.

I couldn't help but think of Margaret's dancing routines when she was in high school. I don't know if her dance expertise ever reached the level of the Riverdance players, but she was pretty good. I never saw her reach the point where her feet moved so fast that she levitated off the floor, but she was working on it. She is already trained in the technique of perfect dieting.

The dance diet is for guys too!

So go forth. I don't want to hear any excuses for being overweight and out of shape! Dance you ass off!

How is that for wisdom Grasshoppers?

Love,

Dad

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