Ace Wisdom

I have told stories before about Dad wrapping his arm around me on the golf course and giving me his infinite wisdom, that happiness in life is continual improvement. I am pretty sure my next golf shot ended up in the woods to which he said I should “work on that swing” with a smile on his face.

There are moments in life where something someone says hits you like a lightning bolt, that conversation did just that, and he had a knack for lightning bolt moments. I went home and enrolled back in college, started slowly and always kept in mind that the goal was not a grade but rather continual improvement.

One of my first jobs after graduation I traveled Wisconsin, going place to place selling small engine parts. The pay was awful, but I dictated my schedule which meant that I could drive through Appleton every Wednesday. Dad would meet me for lunch at Golden Corral, always pay and we had a buffet of food to choose from. We didn’t always make the best choices but most of time we started with a salad but ended with ice cream.

For 5 years we met for lunch, talked about sports, money, jobs, life. He had a way of asking me questions that kept me focused on the process of improvement rather than some “goal”.

We laughed a lot and had some serious conversations that never felt serious at the time but to this day still influence my life. He was gentle and loving, funny and smart. I have missed our Wednesdays.

So, if you stumble on this last post of AceWisdom, take some time to go back and read some random entries. It doesn’t even matter what date, just something random and you’ll feel his presence, his love of his “grasshoppers”, the love of his high school sweetheart and life that was built so opposite of his own childhood.

You’ll probably laugh then his “wisdom” will sneak its way in, he had a knack for it.

Thanks Dad, for all the days not just Wednesdays

Love
Grasshopper #4

Tomorrow is the 9 year anniversary of your final blog post.

Paul mentioned that he and I did your first two blog posts and, since that was 20 years ago, I’d completely forgotten that was the case. Seems fitting that he and I now get the last words.

It’s been 2 weeks since you died and your absence is a constant thrum in each day.

There are so many things I want to share about you, things nobody knew but me. Like why you started blogging. Why you stopped blogging. I got you hooked on Wordle (and the week after you died I got a word in one guess and the next day got a word in two guesses, and I like to think that maybe you had something to do with that). That we emailed every single day for years and you never missed, not once, not even after you went to the hospital and I made Chris yell my last email so that despite your bad hearing we wouldn’t miss our daily bullsh-t and how much that meant to you. How in the weeks leading up to your passing I smelled you all over my house. I smelled your cologne (Obsession). The toast you prepared every morning. Your well-worn leather chair. The combination of a hot-off-the-press Wall Street Journal and coffee. How you told each child they were your favorite but I was your actual favorite.

There’s one story about us you liked to share and now that you’re gone you can’t interrupt my corrective notes and addendums. It’s my time to shine.

You were always an early riser, up at the crack of dawn to read the newspaper and drink your coffee and watch Deborah Norville deliver the news before work. In your version of the story, little Margaret feet tippy tapped down the stairs to harsh your morning vibes and make you turn on cartoons. You told that story with a big smile on your face because everyone knows nobody made Chuck do something he didn’t want to do… except perhaps a youngest daughter with your mettle.

But here is the truth.

You woke up at 5 am every morning – without missing – and I got up around 5:30 or 5:45 (it was probably the rousing smell of coffee and buttered toast with summer sausage or strawberry jam). By 6 am you’d been through the newspaper, the Wall Street Journal, and watched both the national and local news. All your boxes were checked, your morning ritual satisfied, and that was when we got to share something special. Something a little off script.

You turned on those cartoons without me having to ask.

I liked Mr. Wizard’s World (we watched a lot of science experiments together) and the Little Women cartoon on HBO. You’d sit at the end of the couch with your arm wrapped me, snuggled into your side, while I watched a something fun before school.

This feels a little like cheating because you’re not here to dispute my claim that you were a cuddler, but that’s the hand-to-heart truth. I knew you were a cuddler, you knew that I knew you were a cuddler, and that was something we shared privately that nobody ever knew about. Your version of our story conveniently excluded that detail.

I feel lucky to be the last daughter and the one to crack your heart wide open. You were the biggest softy and the safe space to land when my heart needed it. I have so, so many stories of your big softy heart.

And so, even though you’re no longer here your absence is felt every day and I continue to write you emails even if you can no longer read them. There’s something comforting in talking to you that way because you’ll always be my safe space to land.

I know you’re there listening.

Love,
Margaret

Grasshopper No.1 has a F-150 Ford. I see there is a recall on certain models of the F-!50 that have had a complete loss of brakes. It has something to do with loss of fluid from the master cylinder. Brake warning lights don’t work. Low fluid lights don’t work. Brakes pedals go down to the floor boards. Not a good thing.

I am reminded of my childhood days. I collected and traded Topps baseball cards. I would buy a pack of terrible tasting bubble gum that contained 3-4 baseball cards. There were good cards. There were repeat cards. And then, there were the special cards of players that were hard to get (Topps designed the distribution that way). In the 1950’s, Mickey Mantle was the All American Stud. His card was hard to get. I’m sure several 1952 Mickey Mantle baseball cards passed through my fingers. At a recent auction, Mantle’s 1952 card in very good condition sold for over $1 million. Alas, I let several million dollars slip through my fingers.

Packers play Sunday night. It conflicts with the Presidential debate. Now I’ve got to make a choice. Packers? Debate? Packers? Debate? What do I do?

Love,

Dad

 

Your Mom and I dropped the “season ticket routine” for UW Badger games this year. One reason was that schedules are dictated by ESPN. The Badgers are rated No.12 in the Country. The next game for the Badgers is at Camp Randall against No.2 Ohio State. Because it is a highly rated game, it will be played at night with a 7:00 PM kickoff to appease ESPN. That same game years ago would be a “day” game. Night time in October means cold weather. The game will end around 11:00 PM. That means getting home at 2:00 AM or staying overnight at a motel. Really? I guess I’ve lost the zest that goes with youth. I’m relegated to watching the Badger-Buckeye game on 60 inch HDTV with a stocked refrigerator. Yes, it is a painful alternative.

I mentioned Kimberly High School’s football team and it’s quest for win No.49 in a row last time. Kimberly got the record. Sunday’s Post Crescent had an article about Kimberly’s program and the reason for success. It was an insightful article. I cut it out and hand delivered it to our resident family High School Coach, Grasshopper No.4. It was old news. He had read the article days before it hit the newspapers. I tried!

I see that a student of the film industry who graduated from Lawrence University has made a horror “short” movie similar to the Blair Witch Project called “Gags”. The star is a really gruesome looking clown named Gags that presents himself at creepy times. To promote the movie “Gags” has been showing up around the country at night at places like playgrounds, outside movie theaters, churches and cemeterys. Creepy. You can bet with Halloween coming, the story of Gags will develop further. It’s almost as creepy as Hilary and Donald costumes.

I watched a Johnny Carson rerun including guest comedian Charlie Callas. It is a name from the past but he tells the story of two hunters (one stutters and the other shakes). It is hilarious. YouTube, Charlie Callas, the Hunter.

Love,

Dad

I did turn on the furnace to take “the chill out of the house”. I know. I know. I’m weak. It is always fun to see how long I can hold out before turning on the heat. I need help.

Your Mom and I were joined in a visit to the Fireside yesterday. The Fireside has a reputation for hosting elderly crowds. Of course. As Grandson Dominic would say, the elderly crowd has all the money so they can afford to attend. The production was “Million Dollar Quartet” portraying the start of the careers of Elvis, Johnny Cash, Jerry Lee Lewis and Carl Perkins at Sun Records in 1956. It was toe tapping music from the start. There was one precious elderly “lady in red” in the front row that resorted to “shaking real low” to Jerry Lee’s rendition of “Whole Lot of Shakin Going On”. Who says older people can’t rock? On stage, Elvis girlfriend joined in by leading the song “I hear you knockin”. She brought the house down. Go see for yourself.

There will be Packer withdrawal this weekend because they have a “bye-week”. Do not despair, there are some really good football games starting tonight. There is this high school team next door to Appleton called Kimberly. They are trying to become the first team in State history to go unbeaten 49 games without a single loss (that includes not losing in the State playoffs for 3 years). I wonder how it feels to go through high school without experiencing the “agony of defeat”.

The second memorable matchup will be when the UW Badgers go into “the Big House” to play Michigan. Everybody hates Michigan except people who went to school there. Michigan had an “attitude”. It is the arrogant “a–h—” attitude. The Badgers are unbeaten so far and have defeated top rated teams. Michigan happens to be rated No.4 in the country and deserves to eat some “humble pie”. Win or lose, it should be good football viewing.

September ends today.

Apples are abundant.

It is all good! Enjoy the weekend.

Love,

Dad

 

I watched the Presidential Debate last night. Everything is much clearer now!

I got to thinking, what would I do if I were running for the top executive job in the country?

If I were President I would promise, as did Franklin Roseveldt, “a chicken in every pot”. Everybody would get free medical care and you wouldn’t have to prove disability to get Social Security compensation. Education would be free and there would be guaranteed jobs waiting for everyone. Minimum wage would begin at $50 per hour and you would enjoy a 25 hour work week. Normal retirement would begin at age 50 but you would have the option of early retirement at 45.

Happiness would be guaranteed! If you weren’t happy, there would be legal recourse.

As President I would decree, every single citizen would experience 15 minutes of fame (that is not original, Andy Worhol framed the concept suggesting everybody already experiences 15 minutes of fame in their lifetime). I would guarantee it. It could be recognition for scoring a touchdown to win a football game, selecting the correct number in PowerBall or just being on the the winning team on Family Feud! If by chance you missed your 15 minutes of fame during your lifetime, I’d create a forum designed to give you recognition.

Also as President, every citizen would get a miracle. Each person deserves one miracle in their lifetime. There would have to be a limit of one miracle because of monetary and time constrictions. Miracles could take many forms. Things like landing the job of your life! Or by some “miracle” you meet the girl/boy of your dreams. Other miracles like medical cures, financial success and even religious revelations would be part of my promise. Think big!

I want everyone to be happy! You deserve it!

Trust me! As President I be would be totally dedicated to your happiness.

Now excuse me, I’ve got to meet with my “Happiness Advisers”, the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus and Smokey the Bear who are consuming medicinal marijuana to promote clearer thinking.

Love,

Dad

All of us have experienced the passing of a loved one. There are varied beliefs about what happens when we die but most of us cling to “going to a better place”.

Your Mom always says that we keep “coming back” until we get it right. I’m not sure what “right” is but I’m sure it has something to do with “righteous” and caring for fellow human beings.

And so it goes. Lots of theories about what happens when we die. We have Bibles and Korans to convey written word. Nobody really knows.

I had lunch with a friend who recently lost his wife. He introduced me to “orbes”. They are actually a product of cell phone technology. When taking a picture with your cell phone, there is a quick preliminary flash before the major flash in taking a picture. That early flash most times captures bright round objects (sometimes framed with a halo). They actually look like tiny, tiny, suns or moons. The theory is that when someone dies, their energy converts to other forms and can become orbes. So maybe your Grandma is in the cell phone in your hand or back pocket. That orb captured on your cell is her watching and guiding you through you life. In fact your whole life is surrounded by bodies of orbes. I don’t pass judgement on this stuff, I just report it. If you take solace in the fact loved ones never leave you, they just take the form of an energy or an orb, who am I am to dispel the comforting thought?

I know nothing about the nature of “orb energy”. It seems to me that if “orbes” bring you comfort and purpose in life, go with it.

My “friend” had a sparkle in his eyes when he talked of “orbes” and the possibility that his wife always with him. It gives new meaning to “together forever”. For ever and ever! Ever! An orb on my shoulder says “ACE stop it.!

Octoberfest in Appleton this weekend. Old vintage cars worth millions rumbling through the streets.

For those who haven’t noticed, it is Fall.

Love,

Dad